Foreign object in my tea

Okay, so the foreign object wasn’t in my tea exactly, it was on my mug. But that’s close enough because it was a black and curly. That’s slang for pubic hair in case you didn’t know. Now I’m keen to try new things and have a pretty “open to new flavours” palette, but pubic hair and sweet, hot tea just don’t go.

My buddy was peeing her pants and slightly red with embarrassment as she passed over my mug of tea at work. I was gasping for a brew and she ruined it with her observation of said foreign object – but was quick to point out the black and curly hadn’t come from her. Hmmm. What the hell was she stirring my tea with? A penis?

Anyway, the whole office became embroiled in pubic hair related banter and I was crying with laughter by the end of it. But still felt a bit sick… that pubic hair is setting up home somewhere around my desk now, after knocking it from my mug with a post-it note. It reminded me of the time a mate found what resembled a baked bean skin – or someone’s blister!!! – in her cuppa. Double yuk!

It’s all too gross. I think this highlights the uncleanly state of corporate kitchens and the need to make tea wearing rubber gloves, a face mask and possibly protective overalls. Maybe I should start drinking it through a straw as well, so nothing big or lumpy will make it to my mouth.

Okay, writing this blog is starting to make me gag. Need to stop now…