Size zero campaign
Since January I have been busting a gut to crank up the fitness and achieve a hot bod. Muffin tops and love handles are sooo 2008.
Me and my buddy call this the Size Zero Campaign. Okay, so we don”t actually want to look emaciated and sticky out bones isn’t a good look, but we do want to become toned goddesses, turning heads wherever we go. Not unreasonable?
So, how do we set about achieving this near impossible goal? Well, we now have a team fruit bowl at work (but our director keeps bringing in cakes in a bid to thwart our efforts, damn him) and we joined the gym.
Now, I play sport four times a week as it is so squeezing three gym trips in as well is pretty tough. But, in the name of Size Zero, that’s what has to be done.
So, my mate Ruby does her little terrier routine on the cross trainer followed by weights that Geoff Capes would struggle to lift and I try and stay on the running machine without falling off. The cute guy in the little vest is a huge distraction and when my water bottle fell out of the holder and onto the treadmill I swiftly decided hurdling wasn’t for me.
S0, 40 minutes of cardio a day and you’re golden in terms of health and fitness, apparently. So why, after weeks of sweaty workouts and the fruit-induced toilet trips do I still look EXACTLY the same?
Okay, so maybe the love handles have slimmed down a bit and my jeans are a weeny bit looser so now I can actually breathe in them, but I’m still a size 12. Not that there’s anything wrong with that but I don’t feel I’m getting a good enough return on my investment, that’s all.
My volleyball coach has noted an improvement in my performance on court and this is no doubt to do with practically living in the gym, but still. Where’s the Size Zero version of me? Buried deep beneath the size 12 version, that’s where.
Okay, so I have fallen off the wagon a few times – I am only human – and sometimes cakes call my name and force me to eat them – but I’m pretty damn active and expected weight to fall off me like water out of a fountain. Nope.
I think the problem is – and bear with me, here’s the science – that I workout at cardio level which means struggling to breathe, a rapid heart rate and losing vision due to the amount of sweat in my eyes. This is the workout I like.
What I’m supposed to do (I think) is to work out at fat burning rate which involves being able to breathe, lower heart rate and only mild sweating. Which makes you look like a pussy in the gym! But that’s how you burn fat as opposed to just getting fitter. Oh dear.
I think this is where my competitive edge does me no good. If there’s a guy on the cross trainer kicking out his arms and legs at level nine, then I automatically want to crank my machine up to level 10, I just can’t help myself.
Hmm. The Size Zero Campaign continues… Watch this space…
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I think half the problem of size zero is the planning of it!!! The more you think about stuff, the more your body seems to react to it! Before Bloats wedding I got down to 8 and a half stone! I’m now 9 stone 4! But I don’t feel any bigger than I was then, and I didn’t feel much slimmer then than before i lost weight! However I feel i ought to at least try and lose some of the weight again so that I don’t worry about it! My problem now is since I proactively have started trying to lose weight, I’ve not stopped eating!
The other half of the problem is that it’s size zero and not size four! We’re British, why shouldn’t we aim for size 4 instead! And what happened to a good old fashioned 8/10! When did that get so obese that we now have to aim for a 4? When i was in my late teens I was an 8/10, and it was fab as there were always 8’s in the sales! Now there are never any 8’s left, but loads of 6’s! In 5 years time will there only be 4’s? And then in another 5 years…?
I think bookies need to start taking bets on which designer will be the first to come out with size -2!!!
hi im going on my hols in 6 weeks and am at the moment a size 10,iv had 3 children and have a few parts of my body that i dont like so much,so iv started to cut down on meal sizes and doing situps and things.i would love to be a size zero,it is my goel.i just hope it dont take to long to start seeing a change.
Hi Charlene, thanks for your comment.
However, I think I need to make something clear here. While I refer to my campaign to be fitter and healthier as the “size zero campaign” I’m actually being ironic. I would look terrible as a size zero and not only do I think it’s unachievable for someone of my stature – an athletic size 12 (10 on a very good day)- I also think it’s very unhealthy.
I’d say a size 10 after having three kids is no mean feat and you should be happy with that. Looking like a twig is neither attractive nor healthy and the only way to achieve the size zero is by starving yourself silly. I reckon you’ll need your energy when you take your kids on holiday and you won’t have any left as a size zero.
Apologies for the lecture but being fit and healthy is not about being a size zero. It’s about a sensible diet, exercise and making the most of what you do have :0)