Review: Single White Failure

I’ve recently read Single White Failure, a novel by GJH Sibson. It’s about a 20-something guy embarking on a series of dates in London, the kinda girl equivalent of Bridget Jones I think, although I’m doubtful he wears big knickers and he’s nowhere near as funny.

The book’s by a chap called Gareth Sibson who was one of the guest speakers at a literary masterclass in London. He’s obviously had a lot of success from his book, which he chose to self publish because agencies/publishers felt that while it was a great idea, it wasn’t marketable.

While I really warmed to the other published authors, Kate Mosse and Lola Jaye, I found Gareth’s arrogance a tad off-putting. While Lola, bless her cottons, told of the trials and tribulations of becoming a published author – sleep deprivation and downright desperation included – Gareth seemed above all this and tells us he knew better than the publishers’ marketeers as he too worked in marketing and, to quote, “I think I know more about  it than them”.  He may well have been right, his book, although self published, seems to be doing well. But it didn’t make me warm to him, and I don’t suppose he cares.

The book is about a guy called Max who finishes with his long-term girlfriend and embarks on a dating adventure with his two single mates. The opening chapter is brilliant, I really get pulled in, but from there it goes downhill. I may have warmed to Max a bit more if I didn’t know he was based on the author. I’m not a fan of the author so I’m not a fan of Max. How much more would I have enjoyed this book if I knew nothing of its origins?

It’s a great concept though – book shops are full to bursting with chick lit but what about guy lit? What about men’s trouble and strife as they enter the dating scene in their bid to find Mrs Right? In that sense, it’s a good read although a tad contradictory. Max slates a potential internet date who at 5ft 11ins herself wants to know his height before they meet. He thinks this is vain, I think this is an important issue. Max thinks it’s okay to bin off the not-so-slim girls and choose those with long, flowing, golden blonde hair, but when a girl asks his height he gets all offended.

There are some funny stories in there though, and I have no doubt that they’re true – there are some psycho girls out there – and it goes half way to proving that men and women really have very little in common. It’s no wonder dating is a miserable journey when men and women seek different things, feel different things and see things from a totally different perspective.

I was very nearly disappointed by the ending and almost to the point of throwing the book in a fire and watching it burn. Happy, soppy endings are so yesterday, in my view, and the way he thinks he’s found the love of his life the moment he sets eyes on her is just not realistic. But the ending turns out okay. Ish.

What does surprise me throughout the book is the spelling and punctuation. It’s bad, and I mean really bad.

Now I don’t know the process involved in self publishing but one assumes a great deal of editing and proofing still goes into it before it hits the presses. Of course, odd errors sneak into all books, we’re only human after all, but there are a lot of things that smack you in the face in this one.

Firstly, the use of apostrophes or lack thereof. The author can’t use them and the editors fail to notice; it’s a tad annoying. Secondly, any letter with an accute accent above it seems to be in a different font to the rest of the body text, and also in bold like it’s a really important letter. It’s not.

And then there’s the way the tenses are all mixed up and some blindingly obvious errors. One chapter opens with the words “It’s August”. Two sentences later and “the capital is in its first hot spell of the year. That essential three week period that manifests just after Easter each year.” Spot the obvious mistake? August, under any circumstances, isn’t just after Easter.

In the words of The Evening Standard reviewer “if you’ve lost your faith in men, he may just restore it”. Well, he doesn’t. It’s not the best read I’ve ever had although perhaps, knowing it’s self published, I read it with more of a critical eye. Still, it’s all good research for my own work-in-progress novel and for that I’m grateful.